The White House Occupant had his annual checkup, and I know you’ll be surprised and highly impressed to learn that his hand-picked physician declared him to be in excellent health, citing as evidence his “frequent golf victories”. At his own golf course. Against handpicked opponents. And no doubt following his own rules.

The putative president, in one of his rambles — er, speeches — mentioned the Congo, and added “I don’t know what that is”. After which a Newsmax host did dutiful butt covering and butt licking by pretending that he’d said he didn’t know WHERE the Congo is, presenting a map of Africa with the countries unnamed and challenging the public — particularly Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez — to name those countries.

At Fox “News”, Sean Hannity denounced the arson at the home of Pennsylvania governor Josh Shapiro as an evil act of domestic terrorism, “even though he’s a Democratic governor”. And then suggested that Democrats themselves were responsible. (Laura Loomer went even further, tabbing Shapiro himself as the cause.)

Also on Fox, with the chyron blaring “Dems Turn Gangster Into a Hero” Jesse Watters declared he was certain that Kilmar Abrego Garcia is a gang member. Why? Because he wears a Chicago Bulls cap. Says Watters: “Everyone from El Salvador knows what it means when you wear a Bulls hat, it means you’re MS-13”. Since a Bulls cap is reportedly the most popular sports attire in the area where Garcia lives, there must be a lot of kids who are gang members without even realizing it.

Attorney General Pam Bondi also cited the Bulls cap, a hoodie, and tattoos as evidence in a report she released about Garcia — which clearly states that he has no criminal history. Ah, but her real ace in the hole is the testimony of a reliable informant who pegs him as a gang member. Game, set and match. Except she doesn’t mention that her “reliable source” claims Garcia is a member of a gang in New York — where he’s never lived.

The Sharpie President zeroed in on Garcia’s tattoos, displaying a photo supposedly of Garcia’s hand with”MS13″ tattooed across his knuckles. Except the photo is clearly doctored. It doesn’t seem to have occurred to him that anyone might …um, compare that photo to an actual photo of Garcia’s hand.

Conspiracy-minded filmmaker Oliver Stone (who for some reason has been emboldened to come out of the woodwork lately) expressed his frustration and bewilderment with “hateful” people accusing him of being Putin’s useful idiot. While parroting MAGA talking points straight out of the Kremlin — including the tropes that Russia is merely “defending itself”, and that a Jewish philanthropist is secretly controlling the Democratic Party and manipulating world affairs. And he added “I respect Putin”. Why? Because “I respect Russia.” Oh. And he asserted his political independence by stating that he voted for RFK Jr., who is part of the most extreme right-wing administration in history.

Speaking of RFK Jr., he seems determined to make the stupid roll every week. This time, when confronted with his department’s funding cuts for adolescent diabetes research, infectious disease, mental health, and childhood vaccinations, he replied that he, uh, wasn’t aware of such cuts. Hey, why should he have any clue what his own department is up to?

But even Bobby Junior was outdone by… Bobby Junior. Speaking about autistic children, he said they’ll “never pay taxes, they’ll never hold a job, they’ll never play baseball, they’ll never write a poem, they’ll never go out on a date. Many of them will never use a toilet unassisted.” After the inevitable backlash, he sought refuge, as any self-respecting political independent would, on Sean Hannity’s program at Fox, where he offered the standard right-wing defense of I’m sorry if you’re dumb enough to take my words the wrong way, it’s just the librulz distorting my words, etc. It was very clear, he insisted, that he didn’t mean all autistic children — just the ones who are “nonverbal”. He didn’t explain why he thought people who can’t talk can’t use the bathroom or do other routine tasks by themselves. Nor why he believes that autism “destroys families and… children”. But no doubt that explanation is forthcoming any day now.

The Oklahoma House Of Representatives passed a resolution proclaiming that “Christ is King” — just in time for the 30th anniversary of the bombing of the federal building by a right-wing fanatic. (Pure coincidence, no doubt.) A certain orange-faced politician they worship is going to be mighty jealous.

Dr. Oz, who recently gloated that “there’s a new sheriff in town”, was turned loose on Medicare and Medicaid.

Former athlete and current sour grapes activist Riley Gaines has some thoughts on the “gender ideology movement”, which she believes is “an attempt to normalize pedophilia, across the board, and I think that’s what we’re seeing with this movement. ” She hasn’t explained why pedophiles invariably turn out to be straight cis gender conservatives — and very often Republican politicians or activists — but we’re all waiting with bated breath.