And now we come to the end of our little treasury of priceless right-wing quotes from 1964 to 2004. But bear in mind that this collection is by no means exhaustive. And the supply of conservative wisdom in the ensuing years has mushroomed beyond all expectation. With that in mind, away we go:

“We need to execute people like John Walker (Lindh) in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed too. Otherwise, they will turn out to be outright traitors.” —Ann Coulter on an American who joined the Taliban — one of the most patently right-wing organizations in the world.

“Who cares what you think?” —G. W. Bush, to a journalist

“I’m the commander—see, I don’t need to explain why say things. That’s the interesting thing about being the president. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don’t feel like I owe anybody an explanation.” —G. W. Bush

“If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier. Just as long as I’m the dictator.” —G. W. Bush

(On his lack of concern for the future consequences of Reagan’s environmental policies)“I do not know how many future generations we can count on before the Lord returns.” —James Watt, former Sec. Of the Interior

“A tree’s a tree; how many more do you need to look at?” —Ronald Reagan

“There are more trees now than there were when Columbus arrived.” —Rush Limbaugh (NOTE: Rush is showing an unusual degree of accuracy here, being off by only a quarter of a billion acres.)

“America’s lands may be ravaged as a result of the actions of the environmentalists.” —James Watt

(On the Environmental Protection Agency) “The Gestapo of government, purely and simply.”—Rep. Tom DeLay, TX

(On fish kills caused by acid rain) “Just sprinkle a little lime to neutralize the acid.” —Tom DeLay

“Approximately 80 percent of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation.”   —Ronald Reagan

“I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.” — G.W. Bush (It’s a dangerous world out there.)

“Scientists tend to have an agenda, and it tends to be a liberal political agenda.” —former Rep. Richard Walker, PA. (He’s so close to getting it. So, so close.)

“God said, earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It’s yours.” —Ann Coulter, official mouthpiece of the Almighty

“Democracy used to be a good thing, but it’s gotten into the wrong hands.” —Jesse Helms

(On funding for the arts) “If someone wanted to fund soybeans, I’d have no problem with that, because everyone knows what soybeans are. But nobody can define art.” —George Will

“Excuse me—did you say sex without exchanging body fluids? How is that possible?” —George Will

“More and more of our imports come from overseas.” —G. W. Bush, who also proposed easing reliance on foreign oil by getting it from Mexico   

“The best way to get the news is from objective sources. And the most objective sources I have are people on my staff who tell me what’s happening in the world.” –G. W. Bush

“Needless to say, the president is correct. Whatever it was he said.” —Donald Rumsfeld

“Where fraternities are not allowed, communism flourishes.” —Barry Goldwater

“The legislature’s job is to make law. It’s the executive branch’s job to interpret law.” —G. W. Bush

“(I support efforts) to limit the term limits of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate.” —Dan Quayle

“I don’t feel like I’ve got all that much too important to say on the kind of big national issues.” —G. W. Bush (For once we agree with you, Georgie.)

“(Democrats) want the federal government controlling Social Security like it’s some kind of federal program.” —G. W. Bush

“The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of the generating plants.” —G. W. Bush

“I’ve tried to protect my invest—my contributors from unscrupulous practices.” —G. W. Bush

“Minnesota voters played a major role in the victory of that state’s gubernatorial primary elections yesterday.” —from an NRA press release

“I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can’t answer your question.” —G. W. Bush

“I believe what I believe. And I believe what I believe is right.” —G. W. Bush

“(The Holocaust) was an obscene period in our nation’s history—this century’s history. We all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.” —Dan Quayle

(at an event for the United Negro College Fund) “What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind.”—Dan Quayle

“If a person is innocent of a crime, then he is not a suspect.” —Edwin Meese, former Attorney General

(to the media) “We don’t tell you how to report the news. Don’t tell us how to stage it.” —Larry Speakes, spokesman for George H. W. Bush

“I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success, as opposed to failure.” —G. W. Bush       

“A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.” —Dan Quayle

And let’s conclude with a couple of quotes that are a little older than the others, dating from the Fifties. But it’s just so appropriate to include them, because they both come courtesy of the godfather of neoconservatism, and they just encapsulate the conservative mindset so splendidly.

“Conservatism is the tacit acknowledgement that all that is finally important in human experience is behind us; that the crucial explorations have been undertaken…”– William F. Buckley

“A Conservative is a fellow [necessarily a he, you see] who is standing athwart history yelling ‘Stop’!” — William F. Buckley

Yes, just to be clear: these severely damning statements by the Dr. Frankenstein of the oxymoronically-labeled “conservative movement” are not intended to disparage conservatism, but to praise, define, defend and champion it. ‘Nuff said.