Well, the Nobel Peace Prize was finally awarded, and he didn’t get it even though he lobbied for it fiercely as if it were an Academy Award. And by “he”, of course, I mean Gavin Newsom. But punditster Hugh Hewitt of Fox “News” declared that if his own favored boy didn’t win, “the Nobel committee will be discredited forever”. Because we all know that superlative peace prizes should go to guys who blow up boats and dispatch armed forces against their own citizens.

Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) is running for reelection on an ‘Are Aliens Real?’ platform. Maybe she’s hoping they have some good stuff for vaping.

Kristi Noem: “One of the individuals we arrested recently was the girlfriend of one of the founders of antifa and we’re hoping as we go after her and prosecute her, we’ll get more and more information about the network and how we can root them out and eliminate them from the existence of American society.” And how does she know it’s the “girlfriend of one of the founders of antifa”? She was told by the third cousin fourteen times removed of the great uncle of the guy who used to be Bigfoot’s trainer in a past life.

“If you fire into a crowd of liberals, you’ve got about a hundred percent chance of hitting exclusively child predators.”– Joel Webbon

Stephen Miller, in a TV interview, unguardedly brought up his Dear Leader’s “plenary authority”. And then he froze like a Nazi in the helicopter searchlight, abruptly ending the interview with silence because he didn’t know how to dig himself out of the hole. “Plenary authority”, in case you’re unfamiliar with the term, basically means unchecked power. It’s a term that certain members of the administration no doubt have kicked around behind closed doors (but not the Lord and Master himself, since the word has more than one syllable) but in a moment of accidental candor, Miller let the cat out of the bag — as if the cat had been in the bag in the first place.

RFK Jr.: “There are two studies that show children who are circumcised early have double the rate of autism. It’s highly likely because they’re given Tylenol.” He added that “it’s not proof. We’re doing studies to make the proof.” That’s how science always works, isn’t it? You do studies to “make” proof? And Dear Leader chimed in: “But, you know, there’s a tremendous amount of proof or evidence, I would say, as a non-doctor. But I’ve studied this a long time ago.” And he added that instead of taking Tylenol for pain, pregnant women should just “tough it out”. In addition to clamoring for the peace prize, he’s now vying for an accolade for his feminism.

Dear Leader also exhibited his expertise in math, promising that inhalers will have an average price reduction of 654 percent. Which means that if you normally pay 100 dollars, you’ll get a refund of over 500 bucks. Good news, indeed.

And in parroting his nutty conspiracy theory du jour, he commented that:

Evidently Biden hired the same time travelers who planted Obama’s birth certificate in a Hawaiian newspaper. Not sure why he would want to disrupt the certification of his own electoral victory, but hey, we mustn’t question the wisdumb of The Master.

A Big Stupid Award this week to the media, for saying that the Nobel committee “snubbed” the White House Occupant by not giving him a medal. “Snubbed” implies that he actually had some reason to expect to win.

And another Big Stupid Award to Maria Corina Machado, the winner of the Peace Prize for dedicating it to the White House Occupant. He needed another stroke of the ego like he needed another hole in his brain.