As you are no doubt well aware, CBS has fallen into enemy hands. Bari “Free Press” Weiss has been all too eager to take her place in the ass-kissing line. Accordingly, CBS decided at the last minute to spike a 60 Minutes segment about a gulag for people brutally deported from the U.S. in recent months. In defending this move, Weiss said “Holding stories that aren’t ready for whatever reason—that they lack sufficient context, say, or that they are missing critical voices—happens every day in every newsroom.” No, really. She actually said that. She actually suggested there is some kind of “context” that would justify the horrors covered in the video. And that “critical voices” — i.e., the criminal administration — have not already given their bullshit take. Unfortunately for her and them, she wasn’t bright enough to realize that the video was being forwarded to the network’s Canadian affiliate as part of a standard arrangement. And now, probably more people have viewed the segment than would have had she just let it air in the first place.

The right-wing Intercessors For America (IFA) has issued a “prayer guide” so you can overcome (with the sheer power of prayer, doncha know) the “Communist takeover of the Democrat (sic) Party”. If the tired old conflation of Democrats with Communists and the use of “Democrat Party” instead of Democratic Party aren’t loud enough signals of stupidty for you, just consider some of the sure signs of Communism enumerated in this handy little guide. Union organizing. Anti-racism. Universal Basic Income. Student debt cancellation. Public housing. Done shuddering yet? And just for good measure, the cover of the guide boldly displays, strangely enough, the Turkish flag. Apparently the dear folks at IFA confused the crescent and star for the hammer and sickle.

“Nearly half of NYC voted against Zohran Mamdani. What do they do now?” — actual headline at USA Today. In case you haven’t kept up, it’s now a part of the paradigm that whenever the minority loses an election, it’s a major crisis that needs to be remedied.

Speaking of elections, the MAGA Cult has been breathlessly proclaiming that Georgia officials have “admitted” that 315,000 votes in that state in the 2020 election were “fraudulent”. For those of us who have our heads on this planet, however, what Georgia really announced is that those ballots were submitted with a very minor clerical error that did not in any way, shape or form impugn their accuracy and validity. But whatever it takes to keep the conspiracies alive and kicking.

Charlie Kirk is gone, but there are plenty of people to fill his clown shoes. JD Vance, for one, delivered a truckload of gems speaking at an orgy of Kirk’s subcult, TPUSA. Of Kirk himself, Vance stoked the crowd with “If you miss Charlie Kirk, do you promise to take your country back from the people who killed him?” (Evidently a firm component of the current MAGA gospel is the belief that Kirk’s assassin had multiple personality disorder — and thus should be referred to as “they” or “the people who”. Or did J D mean to suggest, since GOPers like him totally run the country, that they are the ones who gave the shooter his marching orders?) And perhaps most priceless of all, he assured the throng that “You don’t have to apologize for being white anymore.” Just in case anyone was wondering about that.

In one of his most recent perfectly normal rants, Orange Man declared his intention to conquer Greenland, because by golly he’s entitled to. “They say that Denmark was there 300 years ago or something, with a boat. Well, we were there with boats too, I’m sure.” So now you know: the United States had boats in Greenland 300 years ago. And no doubt some of them were also used to deliver planes to those Revolutionary War airports he told us about.