“Jesus has his own business office in heaven. It’s called Central Station. I do know Oral Roberts works there… and I do know also right now that Charlie Kirk works there… He gets to shoot arrows of light that are very dangerous against hell. He gets to shoot arrows of light down into the areas where there’s a lot of darkness on this earth.” — Kat Kerr

(The Bubblegum Crucifix Award is presented weekly for the tackiest — or in some cases most insane or idiotic — thing said or done in the name of religion.)